I feel like maybe I didn’t use my time here effectively. Instead of trying to make a larger system, I possibly should have made smaller vignettes. Maybe I’m just feeling it right now. We have open studios on Wednesday and I’ve already accepted that most people won’t know WTF I’m doing, but I also feel very tired as I’ve run into road blocks here like sleep issues, and radiators failing, and other external things causing me problems. Including having to switch rooms again, making me edgy. Because suddenly I’m in a different space from the space I’ve been occupying for 4 weeks.
I don’t do well when I have sleep issues. I become pretty much Not Human. I cry for no reason. I have issues being even remotely social. I get angry. I shitpost. You’d think this would be a good mindset to be in to make a depressed alexa, but its not. I’m very, very aware of what is going on, but I also know I can’t do much about it, but let it go on. So I just poddle through, and hope that I’ll recover the next day or so.
I’m also a little unsure what I’m going back with. Its larger, yes, and based on system dynamics, yes, but the front is still not great. I also read that the small framework I like using is possibly abandoned, and I hope not.
Anyways, what I’m getting at is that the last week was really difficult.